PAX: Yoga Mat, Lite Brite, Shipyard, Jigglypuff, HoppinJohn, Dowry, Term Paper
PAX (not in Slack): None
FNGs: None
COUNT: 8
Shhhh….they’re watching….and I don’t have much time so listen up….
Nothing is what it seems. 8 brave souls gathered together in a dark parking lot before dawn this morning to learn the truth. Each person received their own tin foil hat for protection. The first person I asked if they were a NARC said yes so we may already be compromised.
We had to keep moving to avoid detection. We did some flying warmups (which of course included South Cary stretches), where we learned about how Katy Perry is actually JonBenét Ramsey, Vincent Van Gogh was actually Jack the Ripper (there’s a website and forthcoming book dedicated to it), and the US invaded Iraq to get ahold of an ancient Mesopotamian star gate.
Then we did pearls on a string:
Merkins (51, of course)
Overhead press (51, of course)
Overhead press (51, of course)
Neil Armstrong rocket jumps (15, because it’s 51 backwards, and we wanted to throw “them” off)
And about that guy who supposedly walked on the moon…spell “Neil A” backwards and let me know how that works out for ya.
Then we learned about how Eric Clapton is a serial killer and is responsible for the deaths of soooo many other musicians (Jimi, Kurt, Morrison, and others). Look it up!
Speaking of dead people, many of the people you think are dead aren’t really dead. We did 4 corners in their honor…around a bank (which is where the elites control everything). Elvis Erkins, Tupac Tuck Jumps, Hitler Hillbillies, and Biggie Boy Situps. We did the reps pyramid style, because, you know….the pyramids. There just so much to unpack there.
By the way, if anything happens to me, investigate.
On the way back we talked about the moon again. There’s so much to know. Do your research. Then we learned how the Powerball lottery was created to catch time travelers. Then we learned about how the Titanic didn’t actually sink, it was swapped with its sister ship the Olympic which was sank to collect an insurance claim. Look it up! We did accompanying exercises at light poles and passed several suspicious individuals along the way.
I think they’re closing in on me. Send help. I”m out of ti…..